Seize the day

Tomorrow is the day! I cannot believe how quickly the last 9 months has gone. Today is Allison's actual due date. It seems like just yesterday I took a pregnancy test not thinking anything would come out of it. When I looked at it though it showed a very faint positive sign. I immediately called Dave at work to tell him the news and he was so excited. Emily is going to be a big sister! Dave and I both really wanted Emily to have a sibling close to her in age. A couple of days after finding out I was pregnant I began to bleed. Of course I freaked out. Dave and I had been in the process of moving from our third story apartment into a duplex and it had been a very stressful time for us. The heat was broke in our new place and we did not find that out until the night we were supposed to sleep there. Then the next day, the toilet in one of the bathrooms broke. We felt like we had been moving for weeks before all of our belongings were finally in the new place and that is when I found out I was pregnant. I had been lifting and carrying heavy boxes and things down three flights of stairs for the past couple of weeks. I thought the bleeding was a sure sign I had had a miscarriage. I called and set up a doctor's appointment for the very next day but I was only about 5 weeks pregnant by then and there was not much they could do at that point. They told me the baby wouldn't show up on an ultra sound yet. They could take my blood though and then in a couple of days they could take some more to see if the counts in my blood were increasing as they should when you are pregnant. I had to accept that this was the only thing to do and so we waited. When the nurse called with my results, she told me the counts had increased but not nearly as much as they should have. She wanted me to come in and have and ultra sound because by now, they should at least be able to detect a heartbeat. I prepared myself for the worst. I had spent many nights crying and telling myself the baby was probably dead. I had been having a lot of bleeding. Dave and I both went to the doctor and they did the ultra sound. As soon as the got the machine in place we saw the faintest flickering of a heartbeat. She was alive! The doctor explained to me that I had a tear in my uterus. He said there was no way to fix it, it would have to heal itself. He told us that there was a 50/50 chance the baby would live. He put me on bedrest and we had to wait it out. Two weeks went by and I was still bleeding. I went back to the doctor and had another ultra sound and the hole was healing. I stayed on bedrest and extra week and the bleeding stopped. The hole had healed itself. Praise be to God!
I am so thankful for the miracle that has grown inside of me. God has taught me so much from this pregnancy. He has taught me that I am not in control of my body. There was nothing I could do to heal the tear except for sit in bed and pray. Thank you Jesus for allowing Allison to survive and grow and make it to this point. I cannot wait to meet her tomorrow!

3 days and counting

So this has definitely been the longest week of my life, besides the 12 days I had to wait for Emily to come after her due date passed. I have usually been able to pass time by taking Emily to the pool, but it has been raining the last 2 days and that has not been possible. Emily and I have been cooped up in the house driving each other crazy! Fortunately, my mom and youngest sister drove up from San Antonio to spend the day with us. It was so enjoyable to get out of the house and have some quality girl time at the Round Rock outlet mall.
I have been having random emotional moments as well over the past week. Last night Dave and I were watching an episode of the Office and it hit me that the next time I would be watching the show, we would have a new baby! Also, when Emily and I are having a bonding moment, I get all emotional about how these last few days are her last as our only child. It will never again be just me and her. I am scared about how Emily might react to the new baby. She has such a strong and dependent personality and for her to have to share all the attention she has been receiving the last 2 years, it might be a very hard adjustment. I love Emily to death and she has such a great personality, I am so curious to see what type of personality Allison will have. Will she be shy and cuddly, the complete opposite of Emily or will she be independent and outgoing? I can't wait to see.
This time of pregnancy is the most stressful as well as the most exciting time of the whole 9 months. I have so many mixed emotions going through me. I am frustrated as heck at not being able to call anyone I know because they will freak out and think I am in labor. Dave is the only person I call and that is even pushing it. I know every time he sees my name on his phone his heart skips a beat. I have also been getting tons of phone calls from family members who keep acting as if we are not going to call them if I go into labor. I know everyone is anxious and I cannot blame them for calling. I would probably be doing the same thing although now having gone through this situation twice, I will definitely rethink how and what I say to the next person who is pregnant. And yet even though this time has been extremely stressful and trying on my patience, it is also so exciting. I am filled with so much anticipation at meeting this baby. What will she look like? What will her personality be like? Will I automatically bond with her? I know with Emily, it was not love at first sight. That is hard to admit but I struggled with truly loving her for a long time. I think it was because Dave and I were so young and had no idea what we had got ourselves into. Emily had jaundice when she was born and she had to stay in the NICU and I could only see her for 15 minutes every 3 hours. During those 15 minutes I had to try and master breast feeding her, bond with her, and share her with all of the family and friends who came by to see her. It was a very emotional and hard time. I had been prepared for having Emily sleep in the room with me, playing with her and getting to know her. Emily also had to stay an extra night in the hospital because of her jaundice and I felt like I was neglecting and abandoning her. I gave up breastfeeding her after an intense emotional struggle, and I just felt like I never had that mother/daughter bond with Emily. Fortunately I have been able to be a stay at home mom and I love Emily and could not ever imagine life without her. I am anxious to see if I will be able to breastfeed Allison. We are praying that she does not have jaundice and if she does, that we will at least be able to keep her in our room. 3 days and counting!
(By the way, the picture is of me and Emily right after she was born)

We're here!

Well, we have officially settled back into the Texas lifestyle. Dave, Emily, and I made the big move back to Texas almost exactly 2 weeks ago. We have been living in the beautiful state of Georgia for the past year and just as we became Georgia citizens, Dave got a job transfer to Georgetown, Tx. Most of our family is in Texas and I have lived in Texas for the first 23 years of my life, so it was not a hard decision to move. I thought it would be weird moving back here, but Dave and I have never felt more comfortable and at home than we do right now. My family lives in San Antonio which is only an hour and a half drive from us. Dave's parents live in Dallas which is only a 3 hour drive. It is so comforting knowing how close everyone is and that we can see them on more occasions than just the holidays. We are especially thankful for how close everyone is with the arrival of our second baby girl coming up in the next week. Allison May is due on Sunday, August 19 but just in case she decides not to come by then, I am scheduled to be induced first thing Monday morning. Although I would prefer to go into labor on my own, having a scheduled induction date has its benefits. Our family is able to plan when to come and leave. Also, Dave and I will be able to go out on Sunday night to celebrate our 3 year anniversary! 3 years! I cannot believe how fast the time has gone by. I guess that is what happens when you have your hands full with a toddler and a new baby on the way.
To all of our friends in Georgia, we miss you terribly. I do not know what I am going to do without my playgroup friends. Emily is missing Calvin and Benji as well. I will never forget your friendships and everything that you have taught me about being a better wife and mother. I love you guys!